Are you in love? Or you are caught up in the realm of Infatuation? Can your relationship survive beyond the sexual connection you share with your other half? If you’ve fallen in love, how do you know it’s the real deal you’ve always dreamt of? For example, the feeling of love and lust can be quite similar.
However, they may end of playing out differently as you proceed. Though it may sound difficult right now, it is profitable to learn how to discern the two.
Knowing whether you are in love is just stock in a never-ending cycle of Infatuation will save you from an emotional meltdown since either of you would have invested a lot emotionally. At the end of this content, you will be a better judge of your predicament, and hopefully, you’ll make educated decisions starting from today.
An anonymous contributor gave the most straightforward definition on one of the famous relationship blogs on the internet. It reads “It is the desire you feel for someone’s soul”. That warm feeling of affection you have for someone is called love.
The Difference between I love you and love you is the recipients they are both used for. While the phrase “l love you” is used for one’s significant other, “love you” on the other hand can be used for family members and friends.
It is a mix of emotions, beliefs, and behaviours with intense feelings of affection, warmth, respect, affection, and protectiveness for someone else.
The term can also apply to non-human principles, religious beliefs, and animals. For instance, a person might say he or she loves his or her cat, loves pizza, or loves football.
How to know if you’re genuinely in love with that person
Maybe you are the sceptic type who find love at first sight warped, or you are a sucker for it, or perhaps, you need enough time to develop feelings for the other person; one thing that similar is the feeling of love we all look forward to. Here is how to know if you’re in love. So, what does love feel like?
You notice that literally, everything (including the things around you) reminds you of that person.
Are you eating pizza? That’s their go-to McDonald’s order. Are you listening to Enigma? Oh, his mom loves her. Are you wearing blue jean? You rocked the same pair on your first date.
You are not chewing your fingers, sitting next to your phone and waiting for their text.
In the early stages of some relationships, when everything is still fresh, you tend to consider how long It took for them to text back, to determine how long you should take to text or call them. Well, not worrying about all of these shows you are confident they’ll text you back and not ghost you.
You go out of your way for the ones you love
You do things that you’d normally not do for yourself. You sleepover at your partner’s place and you aren’t the types of girl who loves making her bed, but for some reason, you find yourself doing daily tasks such as making his or her bed to make their life easier. The main point here is doing things to make them feel comfortable.
You don’t feel anxious about getting hurt
People mostly think that having a feeling that someone could hurt them means they like that person. Thank God that’s not true – it sounds weird. People who love you won’t necessarily do things that will hurt you, or at least, they won’t make you feel like they are going to hurt you.
Everything feels easy
We all agree that loving someone takes work. However, when you are genuinely in love with someone, the job you’ll put in will be worth it. Which is the real sense of it isn’t work at all.
Common Signs of love
In this section, we’ll share with you the common signs of love, and you’ll see whether or not you are in love or lust.
You focus on the positive
Nobody’s perfect, but some of the common signs of love is focusing on the person’s positivity. You tend to overlook is negative traits. You focus on trivial things that remind you of your loved one—daydreaming the little moments which you both shared.
Emotional and Physiological instability
These three words shouldn’t scare you away from searching for love. But when you finally fall for someone, it could lead to an emotional roller-coaster. You bounce between a racing heart, loss of appetite and sleeplessness when your relationship goes south. These mood swings make you look like a drug addict when the symptoms start to show.
When the attraction you share intensifies, it is usually as a result of adversity of some sort. The human’s central dopamine may be the reason for this reaction. Research shows that when you delay a reward, dopamine is produced via the neurons in the mid-section of the brain, making the midbrain to be more productive.
Planning the future with your other half
When you find yourself planning your future with your significant other being in the picture, then, it’s safe to say that you are really in love with that person. The urge to be with another person is sort of like the human’s drive toward the water and other things we humans need to survive.
In as much as one might feel that having a possessive feeling is unhealthy, having a bit of it for someone shows you only want him or her for yourself. When one is genuinely in love, there is typically a sexual desire for that person. However, they share an emotional bond. The craving for sex, the desire for sexual exclusivity coupled with jealousy, are all signs of possessiveness.
When we are in love, we are overwhelmed by a powerful sense of empathy – an emotional force we share with our beloved. Feeling other’s pain as your own and being willing to sacrifice anything to make them feel better is known as empathy.
How to get over love
When a romantic relationship goes south, it can be heartbreaking – a whole lot of people have experienced it. How do people cope with this exhausting feeling individually? Some seemingly get over their other half quickly while for others, it takes a lot longer than that.
It’s ok to feel numb and sad after a breakup. After all, it is known as a grieving moment. And that needs to be seen through to the end before we begin to heal.
– Accept your emotions
A person with a broken heart needs to accept his or her own emotions. We often demonize negative emotions – we make others feel as though anger, sadness, and hurt are bad for us. We need to go through these grieving states, all of which brings denial, depression, blame, and many more in between.
More often than not, these emotions go round in circles so they can feel as though you are getting over it. However, then some come back to hit you right in the face (metaphorically speaking). It may feel like the hurt won’t end and seems endless.
– Always love yourself
Don’t forget to love yourself. No matter what the outcome is, always learn to accept yourself and show yourself the best love in the world. Your identity is not, and shouldn’t be tied to the relationship you once had.
– Write a journal about how you feel
When you jot down how you feel, it gives you incredible power. There is a fantastic power in writing down how you feel. Another exciting thing to do is to jot down a list of all the moments you shared with your ex. Not to worry, jotting down the negatives will serve as a reminder when you relapse emotionally.
– Turn that energy into something positive
Binge-watching your favourite shows won’t help you in any way. There needs to be a time when one’s proactiveness has to kick in. Find a hobby such as walking or going to the gym. Exercising is an excellent way to recovery.
What is lust?
Is lust an emotion? Lust is an emotion, and if love is someone’s desire to feel the other person’s soul, lust is the desire to touch someone’s body. Both love and lust are emotions that make you feel a kind of bliss – with love lasting and being the healthy one amongst the two.
– You always go overboard when trying to look good
There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. But when you go overboard with it, then it becomes a problem. When you dress nines and even Tens, it takes time and effort. Looking like a fashionista all the time requires both time and money, and all for what? Create a perfect image for the other person to fall for all the time? We both know that’s not going to last. When you are in love, you might forget to “dress well” because the emotional investment is not built on just facial and physical features.
– Silence is awkward
Oh yes, you can’t stay quiet in the same room with the other person? Well, silence becomes awkward when both of you are connecting on an emotional level.
How to kill lust
- Stop tempting yourself.
- Learn to respect others just as you respect yourself.
- Stay away from drugs and alcohol.
- Acknowledge your needs as a human.
- Look for better and advance philosophies.
What is Infatuation?
Infatuation, unlike love, is a strong feeling of attraction you feel for someone, a pet, or an object, especially when these feeling does not last long. The critical point here is that Infatuation does not last long.
Common signs of Infatuation
– You put that person on a pedestal.
– You don’t want to know them (connect with them as a person)
– Desperation kicks in
– You flirt a lot.
– Things are going too fast.
– You’ve changed.
– Lust overwhelms you.
– You wish for everything to be perfect.
– You become lost in your “fantasy”.
– You lose interest.
– You feel lonely.
– You are at their beck and call
– You become delusional.
How long does Infatuation last?
We live in a world where it doesn’t take more than a minute for a relationship to end badly, and immediately hop on the next one. When relationships are based on Infatuation, the emotional worth of the people involved become worthless. Infatuation tends to last for a time as short as thirty-minute and can go on for a year – it all depends on how it’s treated.
If you stay confused for twelve years, Infatuation, in this case, may last that long too. If you’re wondering how to get over Infatuation, your best bet is to snap out of it as fast as possible. An excellent place to start is to see people for who they are by learning to peel off the surface.
Are you in love or lust? Here’s how to know for sure (love vs lust)
If you find yourself lost in thoughts over someone every other time, impulsively checking your phone every minute to see if they’ve texted you, does that mean you in love? What if you find yourself feeling irritated when the other person is not lying next to you?
Asides the usual factors we’d talk about, there are scientific reasons why it is challenging to Tell the Difference. When you ‘get down’ sexually with the other person, your body releases feel-good chemicals in the brain; it leads you to crave more for the other person.
One can easily misinterpret this for wanting to be around the other person. We easily misconstrued this feeling like an emotional connection. Couple and sex therapist Corrin Voeller and marriage and family therapist Racine Henry, PhD, both explain the Difference between love and lust and describe how to discern your feelings.
The Difference between love and lust, according to science
– Do you only want sex with them?
Having sex is an integral part of any romantic relationship. However, if all you are feeling is sexual attraction, then it could be lust. Love grows between two people when they consciously choose to connect on a deeper level. Pay attention to your desires to make an emotional connection with your partner.
– How does your brain react?
Both produce an emotional force field and are registered by one’s brain in different ways. There are different parts of the human brain activated, depending on whether you feel lust or love. For instance, the part of the brain triggered when you are lusting after someone happened to be the same area activated by pleasures like food and sex, while the area of the brain triggered by love is the same activated by rewards and behavioural conditioning – isn’t that amazing? Of course, it is!
– How much you share with your partner.
Do you prefer keeping things casual? Do you feel uncomfortable delving into deeper emotions with the other person? The feeling of not wanting to disclose too much with your partner. In this case, it is known as lust territory.
Having great sex doesn’t automatically imply a secure emotional connection. That’s lust and not love. You don’t have conversations; just sex is a sign of lusty feeling. A person in love should feel supported by his or her partner while also being able to express your needs emotionally; if this is not the case between you two, then it’s a sure sign of lust.
The literal differences between love and lust
Lust is about sexual and physical attraction, whereas love might encompass lust. However, it’s more emotional and can be about caring about the other person. Imagine yourself sitting next to someone at the cinema, and you’re super conscious of your body.
You know where their hands are. You feel an electric current flow between each other when your bump into each other.
Your emotions are attached to these subtle outcomes. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve emotionally attached yourself. Still, the reminiscing over the feeling you had when the passion flowed between you leaves a trail that makes you feel like seeking out the other person. Safe to say you are thirsting over that person.
Lust always fades away, at least that’s a common belief. But passion and love can both fade over time if they aren’t nurtured at all.
There are lots of reasons why lust can recede and fade: exhaustion, bad days, stress, et cetera. Love can also fade if not properly nurtured; for it to grow, it needs to be ‘watered’ regularly – a continued effort to care about the other person both spiritually and emotionally.
Sings its lust over love
It’s lust if
When you don’t really love about the other person beyond their physicality
When you don’t feel the urge to learn more about the other person, then maybe, just maybe, it’s all superficial. It happens when you start ignoring texts from the other person, you tune out when they talk to you about their stressful day. Between you two, its sex before anything else. When you make out more than you connect, then it’s an indicator that you are just in lust and not love.
Though you crave for their attention and enjoy spending time with them, daydreaming about a future together is off the table
You do enjoy the moment you share but have a desire to bring him/her home to mama. You wouldn’t introduce them to your family, friends, and include them in the most critical moments of your life; it’s a sign that love isn’t part of the equation even though you are into each other physically.\
You crave for them physically
Speaking of physical connection, if your heart quakes when they hold your hand, or you have a cosy feeling in your heart when they kiss you, then it’s a sign. Do you feel of these things or have sexual craving when they are around you? Experts say that all of these are signs you are in lust with that person.
It’s love if
When they are down emotionally, you are down too
Unlike the signs of lust, the opposite is the case with love. When the other person talks to you about their day, do you want to know more about them? Do you get the urge to connect with them on an emotional and spiritual level? It’s an indicator that your emotional wellbeing is intertwined.
You aren’t worried about being vulnerable around them.
With someone you love, vulnerability isn’t really a problem. It (weakness) is a crucial indicator of love. If you feel safe and comfortable with the other person and you aren’t scared to share your feelings. You want to learn more about them – you’re likely in love.
You include them in critical moments of your life
Do you wish to include them in critical moments in your life? If so, then it might be as a result of the feelings you have for them. You can’t imagine travelling around the world without them. Including them in your significant events is a sign that you want to share these moments with them.
Love vs Infatuation
True love vs Infatuation: there is a huge difference according to what you’ve read so far.
- Infatuation is more of a fast fantasy.
- We expect perfection when we are infatuated.
- We seek self – perfection when we are bitten by the bug of Infatuation.
- With Infatuation comes obsession.
- Real love takes time.
- With respect, you are real.
- With true love comes freedom.
Difference between lust and Infatuation (lust vs Infatuation)
- Lust is an intense sexual desire
- A passionate desire or an unhealthy sexual craving.
- It is a momentary emotional or physical attraction we feel towards someone.
- A foolish passion.
After all, said and done, it is healthy to know the emotional state that you’re in before taking the next step. We often confuse love for lust and Infatuation for adoring and valuing someone. Leave a comment in the comment section below. Please share!