It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone fresh from a big breakup. Being single is way better than being a rebound – trust me, it hurts.
No matter what, there’s this thought of being to another person, and the pressure that comes with that is unbearable, especially when you know that you can never meet up to that elusive standard. Now, you are lost in your thoughts, wondering if the relationship will ever last.
According to research that says it is possible to find all you need in one person and that human isn’t monogamous by nature. What it means in layman’s terms is, your partner is still searching – looking for what they think you lack.
It’s ok to pretend that every breakup is a clean one. On the flip side, reality seems to disagree with that. Anyone who has gone through this ordeal can testify.
It is one ordeal filled with random crying sessions, wishful thoughts, sad RnB songs, and many late-night texts. Your current partner is no exception.
How do you know if your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex?
Here ten signs he still has feelings for his ex. But first, how many times have you thought to yourself, “why does it seem so impossible to be happy with him?”, why does he act like he still has feelings for his ex”?
Being in a relationship with some who still clings uncontrollably to his ex makes you question your position in their heart and life in general.
At this point, it will be hard to confront him without concrete evidence. Doing this will portray you as a suspicious and jealous girlfriend, making him compare you with his ex. So here are some signs he is not over his ex.
- He hasn’t removed her pictures from Social Media (he still has feelings for his ex)
If your boyfriend still keeps lovey-dovey pictures with his Ex on his social media. When you confront him, and he tries to stall you by making excuses like – “it’s a nice dress you’ve got on,” “She’s just a friend,” or that “that will make me look bad.”
Also, if you catch him staring at those pictures sometimes, it could be one of the concrete signs he still has feelings for his ex.
The question is how many lovey-dovey pictures of you both he has on social media.
- You’ve caught him several times stalking her online
You see him smiling and feeling jumpy when he is on his phone. You check what the fuzz was about, and there it is, the profile picture of his ex, staring right at you and mocking you. He tries to meander his way out of this by offering excuses; you know what that’s all about.
Why would he be stalking his ex? It merely means your boyfriend still misses his ex because he still has feelings for her.
- He brings up her name all the time.
It’s normal to talk about past experiences, especially in a relationship. However, if your boyfriend willfully brings her up in all your conversations, it’s a sure sign that he hasn’t moved on, and he still has feelings for his ex. It’s tough to date a man whose ex is still on his mind.
- He doesn’t discuss her at all.
Just as it is terrible to bring up your ex’s name all the time, refusing to discuss her at all is one other thing that sounds suspicious.
When he talks about his ex all the time, it isn’t right. But in this case, if he outrightly refuses to broach the topic, that’s not ideal either, as it means there’s still a lot of pain stashed up somewhere, and he hasn’t successfully dealt with it. So bad that he doesn’t want to broach the subject.
- He compares both of you (you with his ex)
One of the main signs that he (or partners in general) misses his ex is that he openly compares you to his ex. When he still has feelings for his ex, he would subconsciously compare you with his ex. A therapist and relationship expert Sarah E. Clark attest to that fact. Even if it’s a compliment, a comparison is still a comparison, and that’s typically not a good thing.
It is normal to occasionally think about, compare, and contrast things about the people we’ve once dated. However, if your partner voices those comparisons, it merely means that they are still thinking about them, which is unhealthy.
- It doesn’t feel like you are in a new relationship (he still has feelings for his ex)
Don’t underestimate your guts and when you don’t feel that excitement that comes with being in a new relationship. It feels as if the honeymoon period in your relationship is over right before it ever started. The entire time you think your boyfriend is cheating on you with his ex-girlfriend and you both are behaving like a bickering couple
- He still has her stuff.
Oh my! What could he be doing with his ex’s stuff? It could be an old outfit of hers, or anything else. You ask him about it, and rather than offering a tenable excuse, he tells you how forgetful he is. If he still has feelings for his ex, he’d have some of her properties at home. The truth is, he still has her (his ex) stuff because he isn’t ready to let go of her and the memories they shared. It’s one of the clear signs he still misses his ex.
He has her things because they are precious to throw away. Why is that? That’s because they are the only things that connect him to her, and emotionally, he isn’t ready to let that go. Taking this point with a pinch of salt as one or stray things in the house could coincide.
- They still text
Once in a while between the two (your boyfriend and his ex), one or two texts are normal, though they text around the similar frequency they used to when still dating. If he got a promotion at work or bought a new car, she knows about it the day-of. Even if he tells you it’s nothing to worry about, you have reason to worry. It’s just a way of preserving this relationship for a reason.
How do you know if your girlfriend still has feelings for her ex?
How do you know your girlfriend hasn’t found closure (Talking about her previous relationship)? That she is yet to move on.
Acting out or becoming insecure is a definite way of placing your relationship on the cliff. You don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. But even at that, you still don’t want to be kept in the rain. Trust your guts, but ask questions when these signs become unavoidable. Self-reflection, my dear – these are some of the characters to look out for:
- How frequent is their interaction?
Our lives revolve around social media, and unfortunately, escaping from it is next to impossible. Commenting on each other’s post, liking each other’s uploads, sharing their work-life only shows that they’ve moved on and are both happy about it.
However, if she is still building her world around her previous lover, or continually talking about the ex’s partner, or she recreates memories of the time they both shared or just comparing his families to yours: you, my friend, maybe in real trouble.
- She usually projects closeness with her ex.
Does she remind him how things used to be when still dating while commenting on his social media posts? When you hang out, does she isolate you from the discussion while talking about things you don’t know?
Sometimes, you feel she’s digging your vibe, and you might be wondering, “My girl loves me but still loves her ex too.” How is that possible? Exactly! This tendency shows that her closeness with her previous lover could destroy your relationship with her. Do you know what this is? It’s a rebound, so be careful!
- Is she stalking her ex?
Doing this (stalking) is easy but unhealthy, especially when you do it on the internet. Humans can’t let go of things they’ve once shared a memorable moment. So, if she’s always going through her ex’s Facebook page or the timeline of any of his friends for updates about him, what he did that day, and who her ex is currently with – yea right!
If you feel she’s using you as a rebound, then there’s a likelihood that your relationship with her could be heading towards the rock.
- Physical closeness
Physical closeness should be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Both too little and too much of it is problematic. More importantly, you have to define the distinction. If she yells out his name during sex, that’s a complete give away that she still has feelings for her ex.
- Does she compare her previous relationship with yours?
Nobody should do that! But if that’s the case, then your relationship is sitting on a time bomb. Every relationship is different. Some usually come with a set of baggage and realities. If she continually compares your relationship with the old one or telling you to change some things just like her previous lover did.
- Has she introduced you to her friends? (and if yes, as what?)
Just as there are many different ways to know when one’s relationship status has changed, there are signs that depict that the relationship has ended. How about your girlfriend’s close friends? Are you guys dating secretly? Or do they know about your relationship with her?
We all love it when our friends connect with whoever we are dating. Their assessment (your friends’) of her partners is essential. Now, if her friends don’t know about your relationship – there’s got to be an explanation for that. It would be best if you asked her why she’d do that.
- She isn’t responsive to every affection you show her.
When your partner is still thinking about her ex, she won’t receive affection from anybody else. She can feel like being close to you physically and emotionally is akin to cheating on her ex. Now you’re wondering, how can you cheat on someone you are not dating? Exactly! And if there’s one person who’s the emotional bank isn’t safe in all of these – that would be you.
Bonus Questions and Answers to Help You Decide On Your Ex Status
- When a guy talks about his ex to you, what does it means?
When a guy continually talks about his ex, he is probably still hung up on her. That’s some of the clear signs that she’s clearly on his mind. For instance, if he talks about her a lot in different conversations, her name keeps popping up, coupled with things they both did or memories they shared.
- Signs he wants to reconnect? (if she/he still has feelings for his ex)
- He contacts you by phone.
- The content of messages and conversations
- He asks you questions about the relationship.
- He continues to remind you of the beautiful memories you share
- He actively follows you on social media.
- How do I know if my ex has moved on?
- he or she avoids you
- If your ex encourages you to date other people, then it means they’ve moved on.
- They are in a new relationship.
- When your ex moves away
- When your ex tells you point-blank, it is over.
- Is it healthy to keep pictures of your ex?
No, it is not!
- How can you tell when a relationship is really over?
- You always fight over nothing
- You pick fights
- You are bored
- You’ve gone off sex
- You avoid plans.
- Signs your ex-girlfriend misses you
- She dates immediately after your breakup
- She stalks you online
- She’s still in contact with your family members.
- She’s looking to fight.
- She keeps talking to your friends.
Use these signs to decipher the thoughts in your partner’s mind. And since you’ll figure out if he or she is still in love with her ex, talk to him or her. The conclusion to the conversation you both have would decide the future of your relationship. Hopefully, it goes well. But hey! Pray for the best, but hope for the worse, as that we’ll keep you sane afterward.
You are better than a rebound; you are beautiful and perfect; you don’t need a partner that compares you to his or her ex. Let us in on your thoughts on what you think the indicators are for a partner fixated on their ex in the comment section below.