First of all, let establish some facts – the piece you are about to read (this one) is aimed at those trying anal sex for the first time, and it’s not as easy as it looks in porn (no, it’s not). If you try anal sex the way most porn does, it will be like learning to fly a plane from playing the game of Flight Simulator on a Play Station 4 (I’m sure you know how that’d end: somebody’s bound to get hurt).

Just as we’ve highlighted from the start of this piece, the goal is to ease the fear and show you that you’ve got nothing to be scared of.

Preparing for your first anal sex experience.

Your first anal sex can be one of three things: awkward, terrifying, or awesome. Maybe you’ve read horrific stories, and you are not remotely interested in letting anything, let alone anyone, go down there. Perhaps you are tempted (which is why you are reading this piece), but you don’t know how to go about it.

There are pleasurable and terrific ways to a first anal sex experience; though, just like any other time, it can be comforting if you know what you are doing – which is why we place a premium on preparation.

So, step away from porn, and tone down your fears or throw it out the window.  All you need is this detailed guide to having communicative, mutually satisfying, and comfortable sex.

First-time anal sex tips

Having anal sex for the first time, you are probably wondering how to do it – how do you go about preparing, how do you relax, enjoy the sensual moment with your sexual partner?

All of these are some of the questions that are becoming common. According to new researches from institutes such as the Kinseys, more young women -at least 45 percent of them – are trying out anal play.

We’ve carried out studies of our own, done qualitative researches, and here are some of the tips you need for your first anal sex experience.

  1. Communicate openly

Communication, they say, is vital! And that’s as true as truth can ever be. Please figure out a way to get started with your partner. But what’s the most effective way? Communication! Talk things through. Ask questions about the types of sexual activity you’d like to explore, and anal sex, in this case, is something that you both need to discuss.

Communicate your expectations and fears, and make sure that you are both on the same page about little but essential things such as depth, speed, etc. Trust me, as short as they seem, you don’t want surprises.

  • Relax

Relax, this is not a war – it would be fun if you do it right. The last thing you want to be right before having your first anal sex experience is tense. Fear is not a good thing, and that little unseen demon (by the way, by an unseen terror, I’, referring to fear) can mess things up badly. But it would only do that if you let it. If this is your first time, you need to relax. To prepare, you can focus more on relaxing your anal sphincter. To see how this feels like, tighten your muscles, similar to a Kegel exercise.

  • Wash up

For women, anal sex, especially a first anal sex experience, stems from fear – the fear of what happens back there (talking about nature’s doing) and how that will play into the action. To cleanse yourself of this mental block, take a steamy shower.

  • Engage in foreplay

How do you ease into anal sex? Engage in foreplay, plenty of it. It is highly recommended that you are well-aroused beforehand. The significant mistake people make while having sex is rushing into it. Your sphincter muscle will be relaxed when you are well-aroused. Think about how hot and comfortable sexual experience will be.

  • Lube, and more lube

Having lubrication in hand won’t cost a thing. Asides from foreplay, one other way to make the experience easy is getting lube, lube, and more of it. The more of it you get, the easier the anal experience. Make sure you are doing a condom-safe, silicone-based lubricant or water. Don’t be sacred to reapply this lube frequently. With more lube, you get better anal sex.

  • Take things slow

No matter how much lube you apply, remember, your backside isn’t a water slide, and nothing will creep in smoothly without proper planning. Your first anal sex should be approached gently, just like getting into a hot tub. First, you need to test the waters, which you’ll do during foreplay. Testing the waters will allow your partner to settle in. During foreplay, rub around the anal opening with your finger. No matter what you are starting with, taking things slow will help.


When next you and your partner try to get sensual or get it on (if you know what I mean), grab a lube, a well-lubricated dildo, or any other toy, and try out any of these anal sex positions.

  • Plugs n tub

Before trying this position, we need to establish whether you like it, which has to do with your first anal sex experience. If you are learning about the pleasure-potential of the anus, experimenting with a plug won’t be a bad idea – oh, and one more thing, the best place for a plug play is in the shower. 

  • Tucked missionary

Picture this – a face-to-face booty penetrating session! Hot, right? Only a few things offer intimacy during sex, and tucked missionary is one of them. The anal sex position doesn’t provide the receiving partner total control. So, we advise saving it for the second time. After you’ve done qualitative research on the position and are ready to try it, start by getting into the regular missionary sex position.

  • New heights

Are you feeling adventurous yet? You should be! And in that realm, one of the anal sex positions worth trying the “new heights.” But know this – it’s not taking place in the bed; this is one position that’s known to add a mental excitement to an overall sensual experience, which is quite exhilarating because a woman’s brain is one of her most potent and proficient erogenous zones.

If you are the receiver, you can start by sitting on a stool; that way, your body is perfectly placed with your buttocks leaning backward. Your partner can now penetrate you from behind while you play with your nipples – enjoy!

  • Spoons

Last but not least position on our list is the spooning position. Of course, the spooning position is as cozy as coziness can be. When one’s body is comfortable, it is relatively easy for it to be in a relaxed state – and this state also applies to the muscles located around the anal region.

To do this, lay on your side, with your partner (the giver) wrapped around you from behind.

How to make your first anal sex experience less painful

Exploring anal sex for the first time can be downright scary, with a little bit of thrill as well. Here are some efficient tips to make your first anal sex experience less painful – this will help prevent painful anal sex experience, ultimately showing you how to make anal hurt less during penetration.

  1. Set the scene

There are a few factors to consider when you decide to have your first anal sex experience. If you’re ever in doubt of what this moment will be right for a bum fest, the ideal thing to do at that point is to decline the offer and try something else.

How do you set the scene then? Start a luxurious massage – this would help warm up your muscles and skin. Once you’ve had your muscle stretched and relaxed, the stage is set. As your partner venture into the epicenter that lies between your butt cheeks, you’ll find more pleasure in the sexual experience.

  • Work up to his size on your own

To make it less painful, you need to work up to his size! But first, we recommend getting familiar with your anus and rectum. While the anus refers to the outside, the rectum is the inner part. Play your ass while you masturbate. Use a slim or a lubed-up finger or dildo.

However, if you are making use of a toy, ensure that the dildo has a flared base – by flared base, I mean the base should be wider than the dildo itself. If you are worried about the girth, you can start with a slim dildo and gently work your way to a bigger one to get a physical familiarize with the size you’re able to take. In the long run, doing this will help you stay in a calm state when you are sexually experimenting with your partner.

  • Anal play – first things first.

To avoid pain during anal sex, you should start with some anal play. We recommend that you and your partner have a few sessions – focus on more anal play rather than anal sex. It would help if you had your partner use his fingers on you. Communicate your preference and what you’ve learned about yourself so far. You can also tell your partner ahead of time about how you feel, if you’re nervous and if you wish to take things slow.

  • Stopping when there’s blood or you feel intense pain.

Bleeding during sex is not a good sign, especially when you are having sex. It’s one symptom you shouldn’t ignore. It turns out this could be due to hemorrhoids (and the last time we checked, the hemorrhoid isn’t a good thing).

  • Breathing deeply

You know what they say about breathing and how it synchronizes with your level of anxiety – well, it’s true! If you unable to control your breath – and by that, I mean breathing slowly, you might not be able to go through with it! So, while at it, endeavor to breathe slowly.

How to prepare for anal sex

It isn’t about what to eat before anal sex or just jumping on the anal sex bandwagon; there are other things – valuable things you need to learn.

  1. Discuss it openly

Earlier, we talked about communication, and we also highlighted its value. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you can’t just introduce the act without talking things through with your partner. Everyone has got a butt; however, anal sex is a whole different level – you might be crossing a boundary!

  • Experiment – do it on your own.

Experiment with your own body won’t hurt anyone, not even you (99 percent of the time, of course). Experimenting on your lets, you recognize your weaknesses before someone else subconsciously does that for you.

  • Clean up – vital

It’s probably the reason why you find it hard going through with your first anal experience – it turns your stomach to know that you’ll be sticking something in there. I’m sure you know what I’m driving at. You use it to excrete poop stored in the upper canal. So, the thought of having poop residue is baseless. But still, we recommend that you take a shower thirty to sixty minutes right before anal play.

How to clean your ass before anal sex

You may choose to clean your anus immediately before anal sex. You may also consider wiping your rectum with wipes to ensure no fecal matter is lying around in there. All of these are things you need to do if that’s the route you’ve decided to take.

  • Douching

Anal douching is about inserting water into one’s rectum and anal region to ensure the pathway and its outer part are clean. Doing this will help you have comfortable anal sex. Though it reduces the risk of seeing fecal matter during anal sex, it doesn’t prevent STIs transmission.

  • Enema

Doctors prescribe this option, though, for specific medical conditions. It involves cleaning the rectum and emptying one’s bowel via the liquid’s insertion into the large intestine. But be warned, enema is known to increase the risk of infection.


Just as you’d have in any sexual act, substances and bodily fluids are involved. Even if you’ve prepared hygienically, remember, unexpected issues may occur – these are just natural physical responses. So, right now, it safe to say you have all you need for an exciting first anal experience. Cheers!

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